These cuties...

These cuties make me all fuzzy and warm inside. I'm so grateful to be their mama.

Maddux loves his baby sister. He calls her sweetie all of the time. "Don't worry, Sweetie, I will be right back, Sweetie." He also tackles her ... She doesn't like that much.

My Macy Gracie is turning into quite the passionate little peanut. She knows what she wants and she let's everyone know it. She's a mama's girl and crawls to wherever I am.

Maddux Turns Four

Well my little Maddux, you have graced this world with your presence for four entire years now.  I can't believe it. I remember bringing you home from the hospital.  I loved you more than I knew possible, but I had no idea what to do with you. We learned how to be a family together.... You taught me how to be a mama.... I would sneak into your room every night, and if you were asleep, I'd pick you up and rock you. I still come into your room every night, but now you're too big to pick up without waking. So I sit there and stare at your perfect, little face. I brush your hair with my fingers and wonder how you got so big so fast. You still have so much to learn from this cruel world.  How do I create an environment where you can learn life's important lessons with the least amount of growing pains?

Your daddy and I love you so much.  You have been a blessing beyond measure. We truly thank our God for you every single day. 

Birthday festivities began in the morning. You awoke to balloons galore. You loved running through them and drawing faces on them. You wanted crackers for breakfast so that's what you got! You were pretty happy that I said yes to your request. We gave you one present every few hours throughout the day. You would light up when I would come from the room singing 'Happy Birthday' because you knew that was your cue to opening a new present. 

You had friends over to swim in the pool and sing to you. You felt like a pretty big deal -- and you are. My little world truly revolves around you and your little sister and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for making me a mama for the last four years. I love you, spokie. 

Beach Date

Confession. I get tired as a mom. Sometimes I get caught up in routine and question what it is I love and adore about being a mom. The making of breakfast, snacks, lunch, second lunch, dinner? Laundry? Wiping bums, changing diapers, cleaning spills and spit up??

My wise husband told me to lay the baby down for a nap and take Maddux to the beach--just the two of us. It made me realize how much I missed my Maddux. My little silly, sweet, curious baby boy. I realized I'd been on auto-pilot driving toward nannyhood instead of being engaged in motherhood. I'm thankful for the reminder. Here's to remembering this tomorrow.

Funny boy

I was looking for some basketball shorts for Maddux at Walmart. He's obsessed with basketball shorts these days. I was sifting through the selection of shorts as I casually turned around and glanced at Maddux. I couldn't stop laughing. He took a 12 month shirt off the rack and did his best to squeeze into it. What a goof ball. A cute goof ball.

Easter

Makay and I decided we would separate our Easter celebrations into two days. Saturday we would focus on Easter baskets, egg hunts, candy, etc and Sunday we would focus on the Resurrection. 

Saturday morning Maddux woke up to his Easter basket -- complete with a baseball bat and basketball shorts. I put Makay in charge of Easter baskets because I'm too cheap. I was just going to get Maddux some peeps and Easter pencils -- lame, I know. He then searched the house for hidden Reeses eggs. Our ward had a special Easter breakfast with an Easter egg hunt for the kids that morning. 

Easter Sunday we had the missionaries, Brantley and Lacie, and another couple from our ward over for dinner.  I had a special 'spiritual Easter egg hunt' for the kids. I hid 12 eggs. Each egg had something inside that represented the last week of the Saviors life. Maddux was more interested in opening the egg than listening to the story.  Hopefully next year will be better. 

Easter has come to mean more to me the last few years. This past week I've been touched by the great act of the resurrection and what blessings have come to pass because of it. What a glorious moment that must have been when Christ rose that first Easter morning. What was the reunion between Father and Son like? I can only imagine the embrace they shared, the tears they shed, and the joy they felt. I'm so thankful for the blessing of eternal families that was brought to pass because of the resurrection of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Seriously in love

Wow. I'm not sure it gets any better than these two cuties. I'm so lucky to be their mom. Some days are crazy and I'm tired and I can't wait for daddy to be home and I don't want to make dinner again and and and and... but, today... I'm enjoying today. I'm enjoying the giggles. I'm enjoying the baby talk. I'm enjoying playing tigers and crocodiles. I'm enjoying the snuggles. I'm enjoying the tackles.

Now, here's to remembering this tomorrow.

October Happenings

Macy was blessed this month.  She looked as beautiful as the blessing that was given. My parents, grandma, Sundito family, Dawson, Kinley and Derek were are able to be here.

Halloween was really fun this year.  Maddux was so excited to be Spiderman.  He ran around in his costume for weeks.  Little Macy was the cutest little bumblebee, and I was a pirate.  Makay was a working nurse -- literally.

Makay's birthday!  We worked hard to celebrate him all day long.  He woke up to breakfast in bed.  He was surprised with presents all day long, and we had the greatest friends of all time over for dinner.

The Color Run | The Happiest 5K on the Planet! This was the best run e.v.e.r.  We were sprayed with different colors of chalk throughout the entire race and then went crazy in a chalk-mosh-pit. I love these girls.

Love him.

Maddux just told me when he gets bigger he will go on a mission and then he will get married .... to mommy. My heart is melting.

He makes me happy

Maddux 3 | Macy 3 or 4 weeks

Today, I loved being a mom.  Let's get real now -- I don't always love being a mom.  It's difficult and exhausting, but today.  Today was awesome.  I had one of those moments that makes all of the hard moments worth it. I still don't even know exactly what happened.  I was just staring at Maddux as he jabbered on about what he learned in pre-school and this amazing feeling of love came over me.  I just love this boy so much!  I grabbed him mid-sentence and gave him a good, hard squeeze which, of course, turned into a wrestling match.

I haven't posted about Maddux [or anything] in awhile so here are some random moments/facts I want to keep with me forever.

Quick facts
{*}  Maddux is in pre-school this year.  He loves it.  I love it!  It's so fun to see his little mind soaking in knowledge. He walks around the house singing nursery rhymes [very loudly, I might add].

{*}  He's great at putting away the silverware and his clothes from the laundry.

{*}  He's all about routine, routine, routine. He definitely got this from me.  Some things just have to be done the same way.  For example, when it's time for bed he has to [1] go potty [2] put pajamas on [3] brush teeth [4] read scriptures [5] say prayers [6] sing FIVE songs {I Am a Child of God, I Love to See the Temple, Child's Prayer, Families Can Be Together Forever, Teach Me To Walk in the Light}.  These are all done in the same order every night.

{*}  He's known all of his upper-case and lower-case letters and their sounds for awhile. He's always telling me what words start with. "Baby Sister, mom, buh, buh, B!"

Maddux loves his daddy.
{*}  He drops whatever he's doing and scrambles to the door as soon as he hears Makay get home in the morning.

{*}  Maddux loves going on bike rides with dad.  Every night before bed he looks at Makay and says, "We go on bike ride later, dad?"

{*}  They have named themselves the Boys Team. Maddux is constantly turning everything into a competition and he runs around chanting, 'Boys team! Boys team!"

{*}  No one wrestles better and plays harder than dad.  I try, but I just can't compete with dad's hammer or half nelsons.

Maddux with Macy
{*}  When I was pregnant with Macy, I knew Maddux would be entertained by her when she made her big debut.  He has always loved babies.  What I didn't expect was this instant bond between them.  He truly loves her.

{*} Maddux always wants to show Macy his little achievements. "Look!  Look sister, I put on my jammies!" "Look at this mask I made at pre-school, sister. It's a lamb!"

{*}  He always gives her his blanket when she's crying.  This makes me all warm inside.

{*}  He's just pretty much always all over her.  Touching her, kissing her, dancing her, hugging her, trying to wrestle her [yikes!]. One time I caught him staring at her while she was sleeping. He told me he was keeping her safe. "I just love her, mom."

Best Buds

Maddux loves his friend, Jacob.  Jacob is probably involved in every other sentence that comes out of his mouth.  They play like friends and fight like brothers.  I love it.  

Funny/Sweet Sayings
{*}  Maddux crawled into bed with me when he woke up in the morning.  As we were getting up, I mentioned to myself [yes, I do talk to myself], "Ugh, I think I'm getting sick." Maddux stood up on the bed, put his hands on my head and said, 'I will give you a blessing, mom."

{*}   I really wanted Maddux to have some basic knowledge of what the Easter holiday celebrates. So, a month or so before Easter I purchased a book about Easter. He quickly became obsessed with it. He started spouting out one phrase per page as we read.  The book went like this, "Oh, no, Jesus' friends are sad." Turn page.  "Jesus died on the cross" Turn page. "Don't be cried, friends, don't be cried" Turn page. "Jesus lives!"

{*}  He says, "I be a berry good job, mom!"

 He thinks my breast pump is a telescope. 

First ride at the fair {or 'far' as he pronounces it}.

Occasionally, Maddux likes to sneak out of bed, and occasionally I let him stay up. This does not happen very often and he's thrilled when I actually say yes. He knows after I put him to bed I read my scriptures.  So when he wants to butter me up he asks if he can come read with me. 

We had fun tonight. It was one of those times I could put my tasking aside and really enjoy him. Scripture study soon turned into saying cheese for the camera. The two photos on the right are of him playing and giving hugs to baby sister. He told me several times tonight that he wants to dance with her when she's born.  He also said, 'When baby sister is born, I have her run with me.  She run with me mom??'  He's really excited for her to come -- so are we.


*note: I'm 34 weeks pregnant in these photos. 

Rude awakening

For the past few months [okay, longer than that] I've felt strongly that I need to maintain my blog, but I've done nothing about it. Now, I sit here 33.5 weeks pregnant trying to remember the first three years of Maddux's life. All of those funny stories and sayings I thought I would never forget are dimming. My heart sinks knowing I have nothing to read through to refresh my memory. So, here's to a new beginning.

Maddux was playing at a friends house yesterday.  He was running, jumping, diving, rolling, and laughing. Boys will be boys and Maddux got hurt.  I didn't think anything of it until he immediately stopped crying and went limp. His eyes glossed over and his breathing was anything but normal.  My heart went into a frenzy.  I started screaming his name -- trying to get him to focus on me.  A few minutes that felt like hours slowing crawled by and he started coming around. He was pale, but fairly responsive.  I still don't know exactly what happened. This has happened once before [we'll be talking to the Pediatrician].  I've never felt such a surge of panic in my life. I was overcome with the love I felt for my child, and I was filled with an extremely intense and absolute need to keep him safe and protected. 

An hour or so later I watched him sleeping peacefully on the couch snuggling his blanket. I sat on the ground next to the couch stroking his hair and allowing tears to stream down my face and I poured out my heart to my Father in Heaven, allowing my thoughts to guide my prayer. Please protect him always.  Keep him safe.  Don't let him be scared or hurt without giving him an avenue of peace.  Help me to always be close to the Spirit so I can always know how to protect him, guide him, love him. Of course I know my little guy needs to experience pain, hurt and rejection in order to grow.  I know someday he will feel left out. Someday he'll have his heart broken. I know I won't be able to hold him and keep him safe in my arms forever.  However, when he's too big for my arms, I pray he will know whose arms will always be extended. I guess my duty as a mother isn't to always keep him protected, but to teach him that it is Christ who can truly do the protecting. 

birthday | two

Well, my munchkin is two. Time has passed quickly--too quickly. 

Maddux had a combined birthday party with his friend, Jacob.  They are only a day apart. Maddux is so lucky to have such a good, little friend and to be loved by his family. We ate some barbeque, opened presents,  played in bubbles and finished with cupcakes and ice cream. 

Maddux took most of his cues from Jacob until we brought out the cupcakes; he knew exactly what he wanted and dove right in.  He's definitely his mama's baby. 

I never knew happiness had a never-ending potential. I find myself feeling like he could never make me happier -- and then he does.  He fills me like nothing else can.  I still find myself watching him sleep during the night.  Sometimes I pick up and rock him.  His legs and feet dangle off the chair while his cheeks are smashed between my arm and chest.  His little mouth hangs wide open.  He's safe, and I want to keep him that way forever--right there in my arms where he can't be hurt.  Of course, I know that can't be the  case.  Eventually he'll know what it feels like to be left out, have a broken heart, or even be disliked [though I can't imagine why anyone would dislike my little one]. My heart wrenches when I think about him experiencing these painful feelings.  But, with these experiences comes growth, and in the end, that's truly what I want.  I want him to grow into a strong, honorable, and dedicated man [who still loves and admires his mother, of course].

apologies if this ends up side-ways... 

t.w.o.

I'm sitting here in bed. It's late, but I can't stop thinking about my little Maddux. He will be two on Monday. Two. I know "I just can't believe it" is cliche, but it's true. My mind just can't comprehend that two entire years have passed. I gave birth, nursed in the wee hours, and was overly extatic when he could sit up all by himself... now he's jumping off couches, scraping up his knees, and, to my great amusement, he gallops and jumps in order to get from A to B. The world is his trampoline.

I never knew being a mother would be so rewarding (pass me the butter because I am on a roll with these cliches). I truly am the happiest I've over been.

Happy birthday to my munchkin on Monday. He can lift me to a level of joy I didn't know was possible.