Missionary Experiences

I've always been frustrated with myself when it comes to missionary work. I feel such a desire to serve to Lord through being a missionary. However, I never see any results. I know I shouldn't be frustrated -- I'm planting seeds, yada yada. I know.  I need to shift my paradigm.

A thought hit me during a particular general conference address on missionary work. I have never prayed for missionary experiences.  I've sought them out.  I've shared the gospel when opportunities arrived. I've tried to be a missionary, but I've never petitioned the Lord for help. How prideful am I??

So, I've been praying. Every night I ask the Lord to help me be a missionary; I ask Him to lead me to the people whose hearts are prepared for the Gospel of Jesus Christ; I ask Him to help me be a missionary through being kind, thoughtful and by giving service.

Two days later. Two days.

I'm at the park with Maddux.  Maddux thinks everyone is his friend and quickly gravitated toward the sweetest two-year-old named Liam.  Liam was there with his 'Poppy,' his grandpa. I soon found out Poppy watches Liam during the day and works as a security guard at Ave Maria, a local Law School. Poppy {whose real name is Gary} has been experiencing a rough year as his wife's parents and his own have past away within a short time of each other. Now that mortality is a reality, he is glad he has this time to spend with Liam, but it is tiring and difficult being Mr. Mom. I understand. I expressed my fascination with the connection between parents and children. Yes, it's tiring, difficult and exhausting, but so worth it.  How is it that one tiny smile or giggle can turn a frustrating day {most of the time because of a particular child} into a good day in seconds? In our faith, I said, we believe families are eternal. There is a connection, a divine connection.

The conversation ebbed and flowed and we found ourselves talking about death and the pain it causes. I told him about my dad. He's been diagnosed with color cancer which has brought the mortality reality up-front and center for the last few years. Some people view religion as a crutch. They think religion is for the weak. But, I told him, once you feel the Holy Spirit testifying of the reality of the resurrection and the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, there is no denying it.

The kids were getting hungry so we said our good-byes.  I told him if he ever needed a spiritual boost he needed to call the Mormon Missionaries {I didn't have any pass-along cards with me!}. He said he would and he knew a few Mormons at the law school where he works {which are in my ward so yes, I'll be talking to them}.

This conversation was so casual and easy.  I wasn't nervous to talk to him about the church and Jesus Christ.  It just happened. First, I know this experienced occurred because of the Lord.  However, I was curious as to why the conversation was so natural and un-nerving. As I was pondering why it was this way it occurred to me it's because this doctrine is a part of me. There are some doctrines and principles in the church I believe in because I know the church is true.  However, there are some that are intensely ingrained into my soul because of the personal experiences I've had with them. My dad's health has brought a deeper understanding and sense of gratitude for the doctrine of the atonement and resurrection. I started crying in the car.  I feel so guilty that I'm benefiting from my dad's oppressive, daunting, cruel trial. It's because of the hard road he's walking that I could comfortably testify of the resurrection.

As these thoughts passed through my mind I felt a distinct prompting to call my dad and tell him this. He picked up the phone and I quickly told him of my experience. I let him know {through sobs} of the small amount of good that has come from the fiery darts being sent his way. He was quiet, and then said, "Let me add to your testimony.  Today is Tuesday and Tuesday's are hard after chemo weekends. I have little energy. This morning as I sat in my car driving to work I petitioned the Lord.  I told him I had no energy, and I needed Him to give me a little more. Just as I closed my prayer, you called. What you have told me has given me the energy I need to get through my day."

The Lord is so mindful of each one of us. There's no denying it.

#AskHimForHelp